It must be amazing to know your purpose in life
Just a thought.
Long time coming
So I should have been blogging for the past three months. I’ve been studying abroad in London since late August, and now there are only four weeks left. Honestly it’s terrifying how the time flies.
A lot has changed since I’ve been in London. For starters, I sort of feel like a different person. I’ve experienced so much more in the past three months than I had in my entire life up to this point. I’ve been to more places, experienced more cultures and met the most varied groups of people I’ve ever encountered.
On another note, I came here with a boyfriend.
I had been dating my boyfriend for seven months upon arriving at my new school. He was deployed to Cuba a few weeks before I left, and yet I had ignored all doubts in my mind that I wanted to stick it out with him for the length of our adventures.
Being in London, though, with a school full of new faces eager to get wild, it was hard not to join in. So the first few weeks here are pretty much a drunken blur of lost phones and disappearing pounds (the British currency, not weight-related). Every night I would talk to my boyfriend either via Facebook or on the phone and every night came a slew of judgmental comments and interrogations and questions like, “you are acting like you have a boyfriend, right?” I understand he wasn’t used to me going out all the time but that’s because I was always with him, and this was a new side (to him) which he had no control over.
Needless to say, the negativity got to me. I had never seen such a jealous and possessive side to my boyfriend before and it completely turned me off. All I kept telling myself was, “I’ve wanted to come here to London my entire life. I can not let ANYTHING bring me down while I’m here.” So I ended it.
To rewind a bit, there was this guy involved. A German student here at my school going to university in New York. I very, very drunkenly danced with him one night at the club and the rest is history. The sexual tension was somewhat unbearable and the second I became a single lady, I moved on. A smooth transition.
Of course I felt bad about breaking up with my boyfriend - he was the best guy ever - but I couldn’t stay with someone I had doubts about, let alone one that was bringing me down and making me cry on the phone each night. As much as I wished I could have been madly in love with him, you can’t force feelings - and I strongly believe that sometimes you have to be selfish. You can’t always focus on someone else’s feelings for fear of hurting them. You must put yourself first - while you’re young, anyway.
Fast forward to the present, and me and the German are kind of a thing. It took me FOREVER to finally accept the fact that I really liked him, considering I’m the type of girl who tends to go from guy to guy, and I did not want that to happen again. Nonetheless, we’ve hung out practically every night, talk all the time, and are completely adorable when we’re alone - I only recently told him that I will allow public displays of affection (not that I’m a control freak).
With so little time left here in London, I don’t really know what is going to come of this romance abroad, but for now I’m living in the moment and enjoying every single one.